


Corazón's Compendium

by tnnyoh



Category: D&D - Fandom, Dungeons & Dragons (Roleplaying Game), Oxventure
Genre: Gen, Sarcasm, Unreliable Narrator
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-25
Updated: 2019-04-11
Packaged: 2019-10-16 05:28:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17543570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tnnyoh/pseuds/tnnyoh
Summary: It is me, Corazón de Ballena and this is my unofficial rule book to being a pirate. (It’s unofficial because for some reason, nobody would agree to publish it and I had to suffice with hanging it around towns page by page over old wanted posters)





	1. Volume I

Though I was told to “stop” using my well known pirate name; Corazón De Leon, I cannot for the absolute life of me remember the name I had changed to, and I’d rather have people aware that _I wrote this rule book._ Not some two bit, one-ship pirate not worth the grog tankards he stores in the belly of his ship.

Now without further adieu, here is my unofficial rule book to being a pirate. (It’s unofficial because for _some_ reason, nobody would agree to publish it and I had to suffice with hanging it around towns page by page over old wanted posters)

**Rule #1: Word choice.**

Say the word "Scallywags" as much as you can, as a pirate, I work it into every single conversation I have even if it doesn't appear to fit. Trust me, I know what I'm saying. I am a seasoned pirate, I have traveled the seas, I have gotten salt water in my mouth (and eyes,  and nose, blimey, that one hurt.)  
  
Some pirates, mostly bilge sucking morons will tell you that what truly matters about being a pirate is having some sort of "pirate code". This is untrue and only stupid people believe this.   
  
_(Author's post edit note: I have been informed by the lawyers of Curly Joe that he believes I am defaming him, but since he is an undead cursed pirate, I'm not sure how my words THAT AREN'T EVEN ABOUT HIM, would make a fathom of difference._ _Post edit note #2, Apparently I'm using fathom wrong)_

**Rule #2: Pirate’s are trustworthy, trust me.**

There's a rule about being a pirate, don't trust us, don't be friends with us and don't steal from us. I can attest to one of these. I'm actually quite fond of friendship and people trusting me, though they shouldn't because I also am quite fond of gold, pick-pocketing and getting paid.

But _seriously_ , I have a rapier and I actually know how to use it. I don't know about any of those other drunkard sea-losers but I don't appreciate having my hard work stolen by someone who doesn't work as hard. Stealing is not hard work, I mean it is when I do it, but if someone else does it, I hate them.

 **Rule #3: Gambling is for winners**  
  
The "official" pirate rules state that gambling is for losers, I proudly admit that gambling is fun and you shouldn't listen to this rule.

I gamble every single day when I get up in the morning, I gamble when I go on my ship, I gamble on my friends lives. Long live resident bad boy of pirating, Corazón De Leon!  
  
Seriously though, what was the name I changed it to?   
  
**Rule #4: Always Be Battling**

They say to be ready for anything, to always carry your pistols and hide your doubloons. I say this is stupid, always go full force into battle with whatever you have on you at the time, improvisation is part of the craft! Wing it, get drunk and throw a couple punches at the opposing pirate ship.  If you punch hard enough, you might just punch a hole in the hull and drown them.

_(Author’s post edit note: Apparently I was drunk when I wrote rule #4, please do not pay attention to that as I have been informed by most of the people I know that it’s wrong)_

**Rule #5: Listen to the captain (me)**  
  
A crew is only as good as it's captain, that's me, so when a crew is captained by me, you better believe it's going to be good. Except my last crew keeps trying to kill me, so maybe don't use that as an example.   
  
When it comes down to it, the Captain is always right even if you are ready to throw him or her overboard headfirst.   
  
_(Author's post edit note: Apparently Curly Joe thinks all of this is about him, I have a life outside of you.)  
  
_ **Rule #6: Learn how to swim**  
  
One of the most important things about being a pirate is knowing how to swim, absolutely nobody on my crew knew how to swim and they suffered for it. I, on the other hand can be in the water for -five- minutes without the intense fear of drowning setting in.   
  
**Rule #7: The Captain's quarters is _private_.**  
  
There is a reason the private quarters of the captain is called "The Private Quarters", that means that nobody else is allowed to barge in and yell at me. It's always "There's water filling up the ship" or "We're about to hit a rock", I swear to the open seas I have the neediest crew.   
  
Anyway, private quarters for the Captain is important, it lets him or her have a place to retreat to when things become too much, they have a place to look at maps, knit, or drink small sips of grog while fighting back extreme nasuea.   
  
**Rule #8: Adhere to the curfew**  
  
When I captain a boat, I mean a _ship_. I'm a pirate, I know the difference... I like to pose a curfew, everyone in bed by 10pm and no later, If I see anyone but me out and about on the deck or even below deck. I will deduct "pirate points"  
  
 _(Author's post edit note: Prudence here, and Corazón is pretty serious about this rule. I was roaming the deck at midnight and he was furious, but I think that might have less to do with the time and more to do with the fact that I was lighting all his stuff on fire…  
  
Author's post edit note #2: Of course it was the fire! This ship is made of WOOD, very flammable. Stop it!)  
  
_ **Rule #9: Crew is important, I'm more important.**  
  
Stand by your crew, unless they do something stupid like setting your deck on fire. And if they do so, you can deduct pirate points.  
  
 _(Post Author's Edit Note: Egbert here, and I'm just not sure pirate points are a thing Corazón, remember when we saw those other really angry skeleton pirates? They didn't have pirate points)_  
  
(Author's post edit note #2, Egbert..how the hell did you get into my private quarters? I have a lock!)  
  
(Author's post edit note #3, I breathed fire onto it and it melted)  
  
(Author's post edit note #4, Stop doing that! Those locks are expensive. and I keep telling you that those pirates were not skeletons!)  
  
**Rule #10: If you get hurt, I'm not paying for it.**  
  
You are responsible for your own body, and if you get your limbs cut off, I can't afford to pay for it.

Yes, I see you eyeing my various chests full of gold, but that's for later, business gold. I can't use it for personal means. Pirate law. So please, do try to be careful.   
  
**Rule #11 Rank is important.**  
  
Obviously I'm the most important because there's no higher rank than a Captain. But everyone else has their uses, the bosun, the quartermaster, the other people that do other things. Delegation is where it's at people! If you make a crew member feel important by giving them a fancy name, you can feel less bad about forcing them to do manual labor.   
  
_(Author's post edit note. Merilwen here, and excuse me? Isn't this what you did to me?! I knew 'loot storage elf' was not a real ship title! Why did you make Dob helmsman and not give me a real title?!  
  
_ _Author's post edit note #2, Oh jeez, how does everyone keep getting in here? And stop using my feathered quill to write in my book! I'm running out of ink and we're going to have to plunder some more from Ink Island.  
  
_ _Author's post edit note #3, Merilwen again, you think there's an island called "Ink Island"?  
  
_ _Author's post edit note #4, Uh, yeah, that island we went to that time where we found vials and vials of ink.  
  
_ _Author's post edit note #5, Corazón.... That was Snake Island, and those vials were full of the blood they extracted from you. We bought the ink on the way back home.  
  
_ _Author's note #6, is that why I feel so dizzy all the time?)_  
  
**Rule #12: Scrimshaw is boring**

Yes, that’s right. I said it. I find scrimshaw to be one of the most boring things a person can do. You’re just spending hours staring at a tiny design you’re making with ink that you didn’t get from Snake Island.

I think if you are a fan of scrimshaw, it makes you less of a pirate and more of a loser.

_(Author’s post edit note: Dob here, I really like scrimshaw, does this make me less of a pirate?_

_Author’s post edit note #2, Dob, you couldn’t be less of a pirate if you tried. )_

_Author's post edit note #3, Merilwen here... Cor.. don't you make tiny wooden figurines to sell at market? That's not all that different than scrimshaw_

_Author's post edit note #4, It is incredibly different. for one thing, I'm better than they are, for another, shut up)_

**Rule #13, No making fun of the Captain’s outfit**

I spent a great deal of time looking for these outfit pieces and perfecting my aesthetic, and by the way. I don’t see any of you trying to dress better, with your scraps, and your cuffs and your stupid long coats.  Also, I really appreciate people not mocking my eye patch!

_(Author’s post edit note, Merilwen here again, Corazón. We’ve all seen you switch the eye your eye patch is on, do you even need it?_

_Author’s post edit note #2, Excuse me? How Dare you! Of course I need it, otherwise I wouldn’t have it. It’s illegal to lie about needing an eye patch Merilwen.  It’s in the pirate code_

_Author’s post edit note #3, I don’t see it on your list._

_Author’s post edit note #4, No, not mine. The crappy one that I hate. But I agree with pirate laws about eye patches. I don’t want to break those)_

**Rule #14, Outfit colors**

There is no strict law on what to wear as a pirate, except it has to look cool and it cannot be too blinding.  Bright yellow is discouraged as it looks like the sun, and I have one good eye, I don’t need to lose the ability to see while steering the ship.

_(Author’s post edit note: Prudence here, you don’t actually steer the ship. You just make us do it, and you don't even need that eye patch!_

_Author’s post edit note #2, Maybe so, but did you ever think it was because I can’t see out of both eyes? And, like I told Merilwen earlier,_ _Lying about eye patches is an arrest-able offense and  I... would never lie._

_Author’s post edit note #3, Corazón, It’s your pal Egbert. You know I love you mate, you’ve been a good… an okay, a passable friend to me these past few months. But please do not steer the ship with an eye-patch._

_Author’s post edit note #4, This is what it feels like when your crew have absolutely no faith in you. Mark this down as the day I take over helmsman duties from Dob the Bard._

_Author’s post edit note #5 Dob here, Cor… you can’t be the captain and the helmsman._

_Pirate’s log, Egbert was right. Steering a boat, a ship….with an eye patch is a bad idea. Never again. How did I ever do this before?  Also, shut up Dob, I can do whatever I want. It’s my boat._

_Author’s post edit note #6, Dob here, I think it’s called a ship, Cor, and I don’t wear Pink, but can I have a pink lute?  Also I agree with Egbert, please never steer the ship again. I lost my lunch when we almost crashed into that rock._

_Author’s post edit note #7, Dob, where on earth would you get a pink lute from? Also yes, this sounds awesome. Please get this done.)_

**Rule #15 Storage**.

Storage is an important part of being a pirate, as you are going to want to have plenty of space for all that sweet booty you’re going to plunder from all the other pirates, civilians, and parental figures you run into. Heck, sometimes you can even plunder from your friends! Don’t worry, they aren’t going to know.

But please, adhere to these strict laws. No storing severed body parts in the ship, I don’t care what you use them for, they stink up the ship and they are also visible from windows. Peg legs do not count.

 **Rule #16: Use of language**.

For the absolute last time, don't say "A-hoy" without wearing a hat. It makes all of us look really unprofessional if I let my crew say A-Hoy and not wear a hat.  Also nobody else is allowed to wear a hat without my permission, and it has to have less adornments and feathers than mine.  Only a captain gets the feathers.

Please refrain from saying A-Hoy at all.

 _(Author's note: Merilwen here, isn't it pronounced Ahoy? You're putting a lot of emphasis on a pause between the two. Are you sure you've done any of this before?_  
  
Author's post edit note #2, Shut up!, you are!)

 **Rule #17: Percentage of loot**.

Anyone on the crew is allowed a percentage of whatever we get from quests and plundering, though the amount greatly depends on how I’m feeling that day and how many times you’ve set the deck on fire. I’m looking at you Egbert and Prudence.   
  
If you have a peg leg or acquire it in the future due to losing a limb, if it's on the left you get 10% less of any booty we find, If it's on the right, you get 10% more.   
  
_(Author's post edit note: Are you only saying this because you're right handed?_  
  
Author's post edit note #2, Why is everyone questioning my methods!?)

 **Rule #18 Seriously, listen to the captain.**  
  
Like I said previously, the captain is always right no matter how many times you claim he doesn't actually know anything about being a pirate, It's not like I just rolled out of bed one day and thought to myself "Hey, I'll leave this life of lavishness behind and become a pirate!", It's not like I just stole all the gold I'd need for a ship and then pocketed that gold and stole a ship from the marina, it's not like I didn't return home the next day because I accidentally forgot my cloak and I ran into my father who presumably didn't realize who I was, as I had already been a pirate for a very long time. (Two days)  
  
 _(Author's post edit note: I... can't... stop...laughing, isn't this exactly what you did!?_  
  
Author's post edit note #2, Prudence, I'm still mad at you for lighting my deck on fire, Please stop coming into my office, and stop STEALING my ink!)  


**Rule #19: How to settle a dispute.**

Settling disputes are strictly prohibited on the ship, unless you have a good reason for it. If the dispute lasts longer than a week, then the captain gets to decide who is right.

The Captain's parrot can be a witness in any and all crimes and his word is final. If his word is "loser", then it still counts one for me and one against whoever is trying to disagree with me

 _(Author's post edit note: Corazón, when did you get a parrot?_  
  
Author's post edit note #2, I... on our last job, he bit me and wouldn't stop calling me a loser. I knew then that he was going to be my pet for like a couple days before I sell him for gold.)

**Rule #20, Brig Law**

Sometimes you’re going to have to hold someone in the brig for various sea-related crimes. Either they are someone you don’t know who has tried to steal from you, maybe another pirate of an opposing ship, maybe even someone you do know from your own crew. It’s important to remember the laws of the brig.   
  
Only ONE Prisoner in the brig at a time, seriously. It gets way too cramped in there!  
  
 _(Author's post edit note: Corazón, we only put you in there for your own good._  
  
Author's post edit note #2, Okay, Egbert, fair enough. I did almost crash the ship with my poor steering. But did you also have to put Dob AND his lute in there with me?  
  
Author's post edit note #3, Dob knows what he did. - Merilwen)

**Rule #21: Food rations and more.**

We have a limited selection of food, there is not to be any complaining by the crew of eating the same meals. When we are not sailing the seas, we can stop by a local market and purchase some food. Or steal it, whatever.  But until then, laws must be adhered to.

No mayonnaise, I don't know how many times I have to say this but if mayonnaise is brought onto my ship one more time... Leave it out of the galley, do not plunder it from other ships...   
  
_(Author's post edit note: Why aren't we allowed to have mayonnaise? Our sandwiches are really dry - Dob  
  
_ _Author's post edit note #2, Don't ask about it Dob, It's a long story... So anyway a man named Aloysius De Kent, a famous man, some called him the pirate king... some even called him the mayonnaise king, some, called him a friend....  
  
_ _Author's post edit note #3, Okay, forget I asked. )_

 **Rule #22: No stealing the Captain's things.**  
  
I would think this was common sense but my ink and quills keep going missing, as do my eye-patches, (Very funny guys!) and my various pirate jewelry.  
  
As Captain, I have a right to request those who steal my things to stop stealing them, and hiding them in the potato sacks. It takes ages to dig through them and some of those are growing vines, plus they smell bad.

Please clean out the potato sacks, and stop stealing my stuff!

 **Rule #23: Finishing off the last of the rum earns you ten days in the brig**  
  
As a pirate, I have a lot of trouble coming across a good bottle of rum, or brandy, or anything that isn't disgusting salt water filled with algae. If you see there isn't that much alcohol left, please do not just down it in one gulp, scream that you're the king of the sea and breathe fire all over my deck!   
  
_(Author's post edit note: Sorry Corazón - Egbert)_

 **Rule #24: No running on deck.**  
  
Some of us are trying to sleep down here in the brig, please keep it down with the running. Captain's in the brig can often hear the loud back and forth pattering, most captain's shouldn't BE in the brig in the first place, but I digress.

_(Author’s post edit note, Corazón, you almost got us all killed when you steered the ship, being in the brig for a couple of hours won’t kill you_

_Author’s post edit note #2, But it’s dark down here and Dob won’t stop playing The Ye Old Wall of Wonder)_


	2. Volume II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More rules from king of the sea, Captain Corazón de Ballena.

After some serious late night ~~drinking~~ thinking, I have decided to write down more rules of the trade, and as the last time I was writing these rules down, everyone in the entire world kept breaking into my study, office, quarters, to leave snide remarks in the margins, I have reinforced my door.

Locks, so many locks. I bought them, with gold like a regular person. Don't look into it.

Now that I have that out of the way, here are more brilliant rules to being a pirate, pirating a ship, stealing gold, stealing ships, stealing everything else that isn't nailed down and keeping your crew from stealing your stuff.

**Rule #1: Birds and other bird-like companions.**

I had a bird once, for a glorious two days, he wouldn't stop calling me a loser so I let him go. His named was Edbart.

Edward

Bart

Something, anyway. His vocabulary was bigger than some of the people on my crew. This is a rule, you can have no pet bird that speaks better than you, it makes you look stupid and makes me look even stupider.

Author's post edit note: Prudence here, I have a hard time believing that you could look stupider than you usually do.

Author's post edit note #2, What the hell!? Pru, how did you get in here? I have reinforced locks, fire proof locks, that I stole with my own hands!

Author's post edit note #3, Fire proof? What about magic proof? Also it doesn't matter, a simple eldritch blast and everything melts away.

Author's post edit note #4, I am sick and tired of everyone lighting my stuff on fire or eldritch blasting my locks. What is so interesting about my Captain's Quarters anyway?

Author's post edit note #5, Dob here, Captain Corazón, there's a lot of water below deck. Do you think that I should get it up into buckets and dump it somewhere else? Like that corner over there?

I had to step away from writing after a very unfortunate flooding incident, that I had no clue about until Dob broke into my quarters to write that note to me, why he didn't just tell me when he saw me as I was coming up from my quarters... I don't think I'll ever understand.

### LOUD SIGH

My crew are a bunch of children.

**Rule #2, Protocol for water on the ship.**

It's probably likely that sometime, somehow and somewhere, you might have a break in the hull that lets water in. Maybe your incompetent helmsman crashed the ship into a rock, maybe some of your various undead pirate enemies fired canons at your ship... Whatever the cause, there is a right way and a wrong way to fix it.

Taking buckets of the water and then dumping them into the corner is the wrong way.

Author's post edit note: Corazón, it's Dob again. I resent your accusation that I'm the one who crashed into that rock. Wasn't that you when you tried to steer the ship with bad depth perception?

Author's post edit note #2: No, Dob, I did that last week, you almost crashed three HOURS ago.

**Rule #3: Glass eye?!**

If you have a glass eye, or a missing eye, please replace it with a regulation eye-replacement. No rocks, no seaweed (As Janus the Fool once did), do not take another crew members eye and pass it off as your own, this happened once....never again.

No barnacles, either. Please just use marbles. I know you can't see with marbles but we're all friends here, everyone is friends.

Please refrain from trying to pry eyes out of crew members eyes while they sleep.

Author's post edit note : Who is Janus? - Egbert

Author's post edit note #2, Did Prudence tell you how to get into my brand new reinforced door? Also Janus is a fool, and unimportant, and stupid. And once replaced his eye with seaweed.

Author's post edit note #3, She did, having a piece of paper that says "Stay Out" is not much reinforcement, Corazón.

**Rule #4: Eye-patch rules.**

Look, I know how it looks. I know how you look at me, I know how I look at you.

With one eye covered with an eye patch. This is normal, this is fine, If you have an eye patch, nobody is going to judge you. Nobody is going to make fun of you behind your back and call you "Corazón One Eye"

Not that anything like that ever happened to me.

Don't.

Look.

Into.

It.

Anyway, rules state that you have to have a regulation eye patch, none of this fancy embroidered or bedazzled nonsense. Your eye patch cannot have sequins on it, this is a hard no. Your eye patch must come in standard black only, if you are wearing a different colour, you may be thrown overboard.

Author's post edit note: I have a question Corazón, does this rule apply to Captains? Because I saw you trying out green and purple eye patches the other day in the market.

Author's post edit note #2, No, shut up. You're an eye patch!

**Rule #5, Wooden limbs and regulations. (God it's hard coming up with law titles, how did they do it in the Ye Old Book Of Piratry?)**

If you have a wooden leg, please learn how to use it before stepping off the ship, please also make sure it's attached to something and not just a branch you took from land and shoved up your trouser leg as if it would do any good.

It's "step clop step" not "step, clop, step, clop" Violators will get a second wooden leg and in that case, it's clop clop clop.

**Rule #6: Hand washing is important. Especially for the person who is cooking the food.**

Resident lizard man.....

_The paper is filled with scratches and spilled ink, as well as some droplets of blood._

Egbert here, Corazón isn't feeling well at the moment. Now I would like to clear some things up. I am not a lizard, I am a dragon born paladin who is looking for atonement in my daily life. Let me write what I've learned so far....

_The pages are ripped and burnt in some places but the writing is still legible._

Corazón here, I'm back. After being wailed on by a dragon born, I have sustained some injuries. Not going to find your absolution like that, aye mate? Hah hah.

Ow

Anyway, while Egbert carelessly juggles bombs out on the deck, let me get back to what I was saying. Hand washing is very important, especially when you're cooking.

I have had Merilwen in the kitchen once and every single dish that night tasted like dirt, plants and very likely cat manure.

Merilwen, just because you and Dob love nature so much doesn't mean everyone wants to taste it.

Author's post edit note: Merilwen here, I feel the need to defend my cooking. Just because you don't think plants taste good, doesn't mean you need to be rude about it. If you cook them right, they taste delightful.

Author's post edit note #2, I'm sure there's a way to cook a pile of dirt that would make it "okay", but that's not the point.

Author's post edit note #3, Fine, invite Egbert to cook our next meal and see how fast you'll be begging me back.

**Rule #7: Brigands**

Stop. letting. brigands onto the ship.  Dob

**Rule #8: Collecting/storing things**

If you find anything useful on land or on sea, on the ship of an enemy or the ship of a friend, you are allowed to keep it as long as I, your captain, does not deem it cool enough for me.

If you are prohibited to keep said items, find a place to store it that isn't, on the deck of my ship and right the hell in the middle of my walking path so that I trip every single time I come up, it wasn't funny the first time, it's not funny the seventh.

All feathers you collect on and off the ship must be given to Merilwen, she's making a découpage mural and could really use more yellows and reds.

Author's post edit note: Thanks Corazón, - Merilwen.

**Rule #9 Vomiting.**

It's a law of nature that not everyone is as attuned to the sea as I am, and as such will sometimes feel sick to their stomach. Not everyone has their sea legs, or sea stomach, or sea attitude.

If perhaps this happens, please throw up over the ship and not directly on the Captain when he walks up to you. It's considered rude, and I paid a lot of money for this outfit.

There are buckets all over the ship, mostly for fish and other such things you can catch from the sea, but please make sure to dump the fish out before you use it to empty the contents of your stomach.

And, please don't be a Dob and dump the fish back into the ocean.

Author's post edit note: Corazón, you didn't pay for that at all, you stole it. -Egbert

Author's post edit note #2: Uh, excuse me. I stole the gold for it. Give me some credit, nobody else could ever look this fashionable.

**Rule #10: Tattletales**

Among many pirate ships there will be one person who tries to ruin it for everyone else by telling someone else on a person they precieve to be "acting strange" or "doing something wrong"

This is wrong, please stop doing this. A crew is supposed to be a family, a tight knit family full of people who can trust each other and if you are all just going to tell Prudence every time I do something dangerous, I don't know why I even bother anymore.

Author's post edit note: Maybe you could stop doing those things? - Dob

Author's post edit note #2: Ha ha ha ha

ha

Oh, wait you were serious.

Yes Dob, I will one thousand percent stop doing those horrible dangerous things that get me so much gold.

Not

____________

I have pirate writers block,  I'm breaking the format for a moment to list the things I hate and don't want on my ship, also somehow they relate to laws of pirates.

Don't look into it.

**List of illegal items aboard Captain Corazón's fantastic ship of Piratry.**

  1. Confetti, I hate it, it's worse than glitter. It gets everywhere and it takes weeks for me to pick it out of my hair.
  2. Feathers not a part of my hat, except Merilwen's feathers. Any more feathers than that and I start sneezing.
  3. Egbert's Pamphlets, I'm tired of throwing them overboard only for him to jump back into the water to get them. Did he cast some sort of water protection spell on his parchment?
  4. Licorice anything, it's disgusting, it's horrible, I can't stop eating it.



**Rule #11, Bathing**

As well as hand-washing, this is incredibly important and you should do it every single day. But please do not do it right on the deck with buckets full of soap filled sea water.

Author's post edit note: It's really good for your skin! - Egbert

Author's post edit note #2: It's really...really not.

I have to add an addition to this rule, Egbert is no longer allowed to use our bathing buckets on the ship and must attend to his bathing needs off the ship when we dock, and not in public fountains again. I have a fine from that town that I can't and also don't intend to pay, thanks a lot Lizard man.

**Rule #12 Propaganda**

Some of the people you will meet in your travels and invite onto your ship, possibly to become a member of your crew, or maybe just to give them a place to stay while you rob them blind (Ha, suckers) will be of different and various belief systems.

Me? I don't have a belief system. I don't need to believe in anything cooler than me, but that's not everyone's cup of hot steaming grog. (is grog supposed to be hot?)

But sometimes you will meet more “open minded folk” who come far and wide to shove their propaganda down your throat, and I don't appreciate the stacks and stacks of endless pamphlets telling me all the great wonders of your specific religious beliefs and why they are better than anyone elses and also why you think they will make me a better person.

Newsflash, I don't know if you noticed but I'm a pirate, it's literally in the book of Piratry to be a "bad" person, steal from a child, kick a parrot, steal from people who hire you. It's all good in my eyes, that's my belief system! So when you come onto my ship, breathing fire and telling me to read your pamphlets that weirdly have my name printed onto them, I get a little irritated

Author's post edit note: Corazón, is this about me? - Egbert

Author's post edit note #2: Of course not buddy, it's about someone else. We're good.

It has been days we’ve been at sea, I’ve all but run out of ink and Merilwen will not let me turn the ship around to Ink Island to get more.

I may have to start writing in my own blood.

Not that I have much left of it after our last trip to Ink Island

….. I leave this open ended, in search of ink.

 


End file.
